Every single day, without fail, two sides of me are at war. I’m programmed, be it by society or my own high standards, to want to build a successful business and that is supposed to make me happy. Just that singular thing. But there is a whole side of me that just wants to breathe and relax and enjoy life, knowing that I’ll be happier by generating enough money to support a lifestyle that I want, while fulfilling my creative career dreams and owning my time. It’s like a constant fight between inner business shark and creative hippie.
I love business. I love the idea of growing another business and sticking with it until I’m ready to semi-retire and work part time until I die. I won’t ever stop working, not really. Even when I’m ill I’m still working to some degree. I don’t know how to not work, because a large percentage of my work happens in my head. But that’s just it… I love the idea of big business, but when I’m truly faced with the reality of a big business, I recoil for two main questions: do I want that lifestyle, and will I feel like I’m living a life of business and missing out on everything else?